Fair warning, this post may ruffle a few feathers!
Weight is a touchy subject, no matter which end of the spectrum you fall on. It’s an issue that should be handled with care, compassion and a freaking conscience. I believe wholeheartedly that weight is something we all have control over. I know it’s not an easy thing to get a grip on, but it’s still something that can be maintained…on either side. Chew on that for a minute while I explain why I’m bringing this up (pun totally intended).
The other day, while discussing lunch options in the office, I was asked “Are you having lunch or are you not eating because you’re trying to be skinny today?” Umm…EXCUSE ME?! I must have heard you wrong. Oh, no? Let’s keep talking about it. Go on and tell me that you know that sometimes “skinny girls” just forget to eat lunch (sucker punch). Still not done? Ok! Try to backpedal and tell me that you really only meant that you know how I watch my sugar intake. My sugar intake prevents me from eating a sandwich? Yeah, I must have misheard you.
I’m pretty certain I had my best bitch face on, but I kept my mouth shut (for once) and just walked away. I couldn’t believe the audacity of that single statement! I do not, by any stretch of the imagination, consider myself “skinny.” I consider myself to be athletic, fit and strong. I have put in a lot of WORK to get to this point, so I definitely don’t appreciate anyone reducing it to skipped meals!
Let’s dive a little deeper into this situation, shall we? For lack of a more sensitive way to say this, the person that made this thoughtless comment is on the heavier end of the weight spectrum. Imagine for a minute just how differently this conversation would have played out had I been the one to make a comment about what SHE was ordering (or not ordering) for lunch. What kind of terrible human would I be?! The same exact question asked from me to her would have been so blatantly offensive, I may have gotten myself tangled up in an HR situation.
So what makes it okay for her to ask me if I was skipping lunch to be skinny that day?! Oh, that’s right. Nothing. Nothing makes that okay. I’m no angel, but I generally try to be mindful of the way I speak to people. You know, the whole “treat people how you want to be treated” thing? Sorely underrated.
This whole thing got me thinking about the times I’ve joked with friends about how maybe we don’t need to order the cheese fries because our asses are starting to resemble our chairs. Or how I see a thin/heavy person and have a snap judgment in my head that they might need to eat more/less. How easy it’s become for us to make snap judgments on people we know AND people we don’t know! Looking at a heavyset person and thinking they are not doing anything to get healthy is just as wrong as looking at a thinner person and thinking they need to “eat a cheeseburger or three.” Just as it’s wrong for a thin/fit person to make snide and thoughtless comments about what a bigger person is doing, eating or how they’re living, it’s wrong for that bigger person to judge the smaller one and assume they don’t eat (or don’t eat enough).
I mentioned earlier that I believe that your weight is your choice. If you choose to be on the heavier end of the spectrum, that’s your prerogative. Conversely, that I choose to be fit and pay attention to what I put in my mouth (most of the time) should be absolutely none of anyone’s damn business. It’s wrong all the way around. Whether you are thin or heavy, exercise or don’t, you are maintaining the lifestyle of your choosing. So let’s stop with the judgments, the comments and the sideways glances. Treat people as they should be treated…like HUMAN BEINGS. We will all be a lot happier if we learn to be better humans. #endrant
The bottom line is we need to live and let LIVE.